Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe;

[jitensha]

[ work, as she'd predicted, has been getting increasingly schedule-jamming. Not that Makoto minds, but in between work and studying and the few occasional moments of free time she could get with the other idols, it's been even harder to get the chance to see her... boyfriend (and she'll get used to thinking of him like that sooner or later, but it never fails to make her feel unusually shy).

Well, she'd reasoned, he had a training camp, so even if she'd had the time, he would have been gone anyway-- but that doesn't stop her from texting him, taking a breather from the rehearsal with Mami and Haruka to do so. ]

Hey! How'd the training camp go?

Comments

[jitensha]

[ she does, sending him a brief text to announce her arrival, but she's a bundle of overworked nerves by the time she does get there. There's so much he told her, and yet she feels like she doesn't know a lot at all. Obviously Makoto had gone out into the ocean to help that swimmer, but had he frozen up like he had when they'd first raced? Had he gotten hurt? Had either of them almost drowned? Just what was he feeling right now, to come back from all of that? Relieved? Sad? Determined? She can only imagine how he would have felt if things had gone for the worse, but she also imagines that he would have had a hard time just running into the ocean to save a friend in the middle of a storm.

So she's definitely antsy as she waits, fidgeting and rocking back on her heels and finally just closing her eyes and taking several deep breaths to just calm down. He's all right. Or close enough to it. ]

[makotoned]

[He's not really thinking about any of that, really. It's better if he doesn't think about it right now, because when he does his pulse rate speeds up, and he finds it hard to breathe, and--

Ultimately, he's better off not thinking about it at all.

So he hurries to the train, and when he sees her there, he blows out a quiet sigh. It's hard to say if it's relief or concern or something else entirely.

But he just manages a bit of a smile for her, tired but...well.]

Makoto-chan...hi.

[Is that the best you can do, Makoto.]

[jitensha]

[ if that's the best he can do, she'll just have to do better. Ordinarily, she'd glance around, to make sure no one was watching too closely, but ordinarily, she wouldn't be so concerned and Makoto wouldn't have come from some traumatic ocean experience.

So she makes the first move, taking a few quick steps forward and wrapping her arms around him-- tightly, like she absolutely has to make sure he's solid and firm and there. Muffled-- ]

Hi.

[makotoned]

[His life is a series of traumatic ocean experiences--but he looks surprised when she suddenly wraps her arms around him, because he really wasn't expecting it, even if she is his girlfriend now...

But then he just huffs a quiet laugh and wraps his arms around her in return, smiling gently.]

I'm alright. It's okay.

[For a given definition of the words, anyway.]

[jitensha]

[ fun fact: she would have hugged him, even if she hadn't been dating him. ]

If you're not, I'm not going to get mad or upset. [ just thinking about it, really... ]

[makotoned]

[And he would have been surprised either way--

But right now he just pauses, and then he sighs quietly, burying his face in her hair for a brief moment. He...doesn't know how to respond to that. She wouldn't be mad or upset if he wasn't okay, and he knows that, and he knows she means it, but...

...Haaaa.]

Somehow, even knowing that, I still want to say that I'm fine...

[It's just a little wry, because she knows he's not fine and he knows he's not fine but...he can't say it anyway.]

[jitensha]

[ she squeezes him a little, sighing almost tiredly. ]

Isn't that because you don't like other people worrying about you? But I really...

[ a pause, and then when he draws back, she tilts her head up to frown at him. ]

I really can't believe that, so maybe it's better if you don't try to reassure me.

[makotoned]

[....well, that's pretty blunt. But she doesn't think he's alright, and he has to admit she's right...and so he just sighs and lets her go and nods.]

Alright...I guess I'm not really that fine.

[But he's still smiling...]

We should head back home though, at least for a little while, instead of standing here.

[jitensha]

... Oh! Right, um-- [ hugging in public oops. She'll release him, guiltily. ]

Let's get going!

[makotoned]

[He doesn't look guilty at all, just offer her another smile--and he reaches for her hand, holding her hand tentatively as they walk.]

It would probably be more comfortable to talk there.

[He hasn't forgotten...]

[jitensha]

Probably, huh? [ and she works her fingers in between his, giving their joined hands a swing. ]

I'm glad to see you, too... sorry I didn't say it before.

[makotoned]

[..ah. He just smiles, shaking his head.]

You have nothing to apologize for...I'm very happy to see you too. Thank you for coming.

[jitensha]

Of course I'd come! You don't always have to smile your way through everything.

[makotoned]

[...you don't have to smile your way through everything...

...It's a little impossible, isn't it? He just doesn't know why he does, but...It's just how he is.

But as they stroll down the street, he just sighs.]

I...know. [heh...] I'm sorry for being so difficult.

[jitensha]

... [ she stops, using her free hand to-- flick him on the forehead. ]

Don't apologize. Absolutely not allowed!

[makotoned]

[alskndglfg

and he's startled and surprised and it shows on his face.]

W-wha--

Sorr--

[..aslkfndd. Cough. um.]

Er...

[jitensha]

[ and she just gives him a Look. ]

Try again!

[makotoned]

[...and he takes a deep breath and lets it out as a sigh.]

I'm glad that you came to visit.

[Is that better?]

[jitensha]

[ she grins, then, reaching up to ruffle his hair. It's a little better than flicks. ]

There! I'll make sure it's a good one, too!

[makotoned]

[And he smiles gently at her, because...he really is touched that she's being this kind and sweet, but at the same time...

It's nice to have someone refuse to let him apologize for once. Because it really isn't his fault at all.

So he just smiles at her, and then blinks as he realizes they reached his home--and he just takes a seat on the steps, because the sunshine is warm and nice after that cold night, even now.]

Is this okay?

[jitensha]

Yeah, if it's okay with you! [ and to prove her point, she's just calmly plunking herself down beside him and giving him an expectant look. ]

[makotoned]

[...and he doesn't know what to say now. He just clasps his hands together over his knees and looks down at the ground and...pauses.

It sure is peaceful now though. It's warm and the birds are chirping, and the sunshine drips down from the trees above, which is much more pleasant than the storm from before.

...and finally, he sighs.]

We probably pushed him too hard...I suppose Rei must have felt like he wasn't up to par, since he couldn't keep up. [His job as captain to make sure that didn't happen...]

So he decided to try to swim at night to catch up.

[Rei was sleeping in the same tent as him, so he should've noticed sooner--]

[jitensha]

At night?? That's dangerous to do on your own! Though I guess you already know that...

[ but an inexperienced swimmer out in the ocean? That gave her chills, even in this warmth. ]

[makotoned]

[...haaaa. Makoto just nods, and he's about to make this worse, he knows.]

There was a storm--that's what woke me up. A rainstorm came in and that's when I noticed Rei was missing.

[So now we're at an inexperienced swimmer in the ocean at night during a storm.

...and Makoto realizes just how bad the situation already sounds (and was) and rubs the back of his neck with a shaking hand. But he laughs--even if there's a shaky edge to that too.]

[jitensha]

[ it's hard to miss that tremulous edge to his voice, to him-- and she almost reaches out, just to grasp his knee or touch his head or something... but she doesn't. Not yet. ]

... You went after him?

[ on your own? ]