pullmeoutalive | Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe;

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Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe;

[ work, as she'd predicted, has been getting increasingly schedule-jamming. Not that Makoto minds, but in between work and studying and the few occasional moments of free time she could get with the other idols, it's been even harder to get the chance to see her... boyfriend (and she'll get used to thinking of him like that sooner or later, but it never fails to make her feel unusually shy).

Well, she'd reasoned, he had a training camp, so even if she'd had the time, he would have been gone anyway-- but that doesn't stop her from texting him, taking a breather from the rehearsal with Mami and Haruka to do so. ]

Hey! How'd the training camp go?

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[They had finally gotten home when he receives the text, and for a moment, he blinks at it. He's exhausted, honestly; it's been a tumultuous weekend, honestly, in more ways than one.

That's probably why he isn't thinking his response through too thoroughly--that, and he's gotten so used to saying this that it comes to be automatic.]

Don't worry, I'm fine.

[ that leaves her a little puzzled, staring at the screen as though she expects some kind of further clarification (she does). And yet she's not getting one, so finally, she sends another text. ]

I'm glad, but was there something to be worried about? Did something happen?

[......and he's left blinking down at his phone and.

Wow.

W o w. He must be more out of it than he thought.]

Sorry. That's not what I meant to say.

There was a bit of an incident but we're all fine now.

[ and now there's hardly a pause between texts ]

what happened

[ he tended to downplay things when it came to him, but that didn't mean something hadn't happened to him-- rather, she suspects that something had, if he'd immediately tried to reassure her. ]

[..and now he's gotten her all worried. Excellent. More guilt to add to the pile.

But he can't really say nothing now and leave her worried...So he types out this message very carefully.]

There was a storm on the ocean while one of the newer swimmers was out there. I couldn't let anything happen to him.

[SO I JUMPED IN TO TRY TO SAVE HIM LIKE A LUNATIC-- oh]

Anyway, I'm sorry for worrying you.

[ that leaves her staring at her phone for longer than is strictly necessary-- but then, with news like that, who wouldn't have trouble finding the right thing to say?

And, it occurs to her, maybe she really doesn't have to figure out something comforting to type out. ]

You're back home, right? I'll be there soon.

[...ah. He...can't ask her to--but she already is, isn't she?

So he just laughs quietly to himself and sighs, resigned.]

I'm home now, yes. You don't have to do anything troublesome on my behalf.

I want to, so don't even think it's troublesome! I'll see you soon.

[ and indeed, she's already running off to get changed. ]

[...well alright then. He just takes a deep breath and lets it out in a quiet sigh, going to sit on the stairs outside of his home. He'll go pick her up when she gets there, then...]

If you're sure. Let me know when you get here, and I'll come pick you up.

[ she does, sending him a brief text to announce her arrival, but she's a bundle of overworked nerves by the time she does get there. There's so much he told her, and yet she feels like she doesn't know a lot at all. Obviously Makoto had gone out into the ocean to help that swimmer, but had he frozen up like he had when they'd first raced? Had he gotten hurt? Had either of them almost drowned? Just what was he feeling right now, to come back from all of that? Relieved? Sad? Determined? She can only imagine how he would have felt if things had gone for the worse, but she also imagines that he would have had a hard time just running into the ocean to save a friend in the middle of a storm.

So she's definitely antsy as she waits, fidgeting and rocking back on her heels and finally just closing her eyes and taking several deep breaths to just calm down. He's all right. Or close enough to it. ]

[He's not really thinking about any of that, really. It's better if he doesn't think about it right now, because when he does his pulse rate speeds up, and he finds it hard to breathe, and--

Ultimately, he's better off not thinking about it at all.

So he hurries to the train, and when he sees her there, he blows out a quiet sigh. It's hard to say if it's relief or concern or something else entirely.

But he just manages a bit of a smile for her, tired but...well.]

Makoto-chan...hi.

[Is that the best you can do, Makoto.]

[ if that's the best he can do, she'll just have to do better. Ordinarily, she'd glance around, to make sure no one was watching too closely, but ordinarily, she wouldn't be so concerned and Makoto wouldn't have come from some traumatic ocean experience.

So she makes the first move, taking a few quick steps forward and wrapping her arms around him-- tightly, like she absolutely has to make sure he's solid and firm and there. Muffled-- ]

Hi.

[His life is a series of traumatic ocean experiences--but he looks surprised when she suddenly wraps her arms around him, because he really wasn't expecting it, even if she is his girlfriend now...

But then he just huffs a quiet laugh and wraps his arms around her in return, smiling gently.]

I'm alright. It's okay.

[For a given definition of the words, anyway.]

[ fun fact: she would have hugged him, even if she hadn't been dating him. ]

If you're not, I'm not going to get mad or upset. [ just thinking about it, really... ]

[And he would have been surprised either way--

But right now he just pauses, and then he sighs quietly, burying his face in her hair for a brief moment. He...doesn't know how to respond to that. She wouldn't be mad or upset if he wasn't okay, and he knows that, and he knows she means it, but...

...Haaaa.]

Somehow, even knowing that, I still want to say that I'm fine...

[It's just a little wry, because she knows he's not fine and he knows he's not fine but...he can't say it anyway.]

[ she squeezes him a little, sighing almost tiredly. ]

Isn't that because you don't like other people worrying about you? But I really...

[ a pause, and then when he draws back, she tilts her head up to frown at him. ]

I really can't believe that, so maybe it's better if you don't try to reassure me.

[....well, that's pretty blunt. But she doesn't think he's alright, and he has to admit she's right...and so he just sighs and lets her go and nods.]

Alright...I guess I'm not really that fine.

[But he's still smiling...]

We should head back home though, at least for a little while, instead of standing here.

... Oh! Right, um-- [ hugging in public oops. She'll release him, guiltily. ]

Let's get going!

[He doesn't look guilty at all, just offer her another smile--and he reaches for her hand, holding her hand tentatively as they walk.]

It would probably be more comfortable to talk there.

[He hasn't forgotten...]

Probably, huh? [ and she works her fingers in between his, giving their joined hands a swing. ]

I'm glad to see you, too... sorry I didn't say it before.

[..ah. He just smiles, shaking his head.]

You have nothing to apologize for...I'm very happy to see you too. Thank you for coming.

Of course I'd come! You don't always have to smile your way through everything.

[...you don't have to smile your way through everything...

...It's a little impossible, isn't it? He just doesn't know why he does, but...It's just how he is.

But as they stroll down the street, he just sighs.]

I...know. [heh...] I'm sorry for being so difficult.

... [ she stops, using her free hand to-- flick him on the forehead. ]

Don't apologize. Absolutely not allowed!

[alskndglfg

and he's startled and surprised and it shows on his face.]

W-wha--

Sorr--

[..aslkfndd. Cough. um.]

Er...

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