pullmeoutalive | Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe;

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Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe;

[ work, as she'd predicted, has been getting increasingly schedule-jamming. Not that Makoto minds, but in between work and studying and the few occasional moments of free time she could get with the other idols, it's been even harder to get the chance to see her... boyfriend (and she'll get used to thinking of him like that sooner or later, but it never fails to make her feel unusually shy).

Well, she'd reasoned, he had a training camp, so even if she'd had the time, he would have been gone anyway-- but that doesn't stop her from texting him, taking a breather from the rehearsal with Mami and Haruka to do so. ]

Hey! How'd the training camp go?

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[She's right, of course...it's only natural to do this. But he's still...so touched and surprised by it. It's so much more than he could have ever expected, from her or from anyone. But he's starting to realize that maybe...just maybe he should start expecting this from her, because he highly doubts she'll let him down.

And so, gently, he pulls a hand away only enough to try to wipe off his face a bit, if only because he feels a bit awkward like that.

And then he smiles, because...well, couldn't things be so much worse?]

That's right...of course it is. That doesn't change how amazing you are, though.

[...and he pauses a little, still resting his head on her shoulder, and then takes a deep breath. His friends wanted to know almost immediately, and now here Makoto-chan had had this happen twice and still had asked no questions.]

I think I owe you an explanation.

[ for a minute, Makoto just looks uncomprehending. Maybe because she was still touched and embarrassed, or maybe because she hadn't honestly been expecting an explanation for anything. Really, what would he have to explain? He just had some sort of fear regarding the-- oh.

She frowns, just a bit, as she uses her sleeve to help clear any lingering tear tracks from his face. ]

I don't think you owe me anything.

[ she didn't want him to feel obligated. ]

[He just smiles at her gently. Makoto-chan is always that way, huh? Looking after him, taking care of him, and it's like Haru when he tried to stop Nagisa and Rei, but at the same time, different. And he appreciates it so much, but...]

It's okay.

[That's always his answer in the end.

Though he does pause to arrange his thoughts and takes a deep breath before beginning.]

When I was a child...there was a harbor I enjoyed visiting as often as I could. I was there so often that I made friends with an old fisherman who had a boat he'd take out often.

[...the fisherman was the best, okay, he gave him the PLOT-RELEVANT GOLDFISH but Makoto isn't going to go into that right now.]

But one day...there was a storm, and the ship sank. They were so close to shore, though...they were only three kilometers out from the shore, and still...everyone drowned.

[...It made a deep impression on kid Makoto, and even now, he runs a shaking hand over his face, breathing out quietly.]

Three kilometers? But... that's so close...

[ and then, abruptly, she gets it. Because it had been so close, and yet the ocean wasn't the pool or a pond. There was always that force churning beneath the waves, and if that... ]

So that's why... no matter how close you are, the ocean isn't always going to be calm.

[ and she'd invited him right out into it. She won't voice that out loud, but the guilt's still there when she lowers her eyes. She should have noticed. Even if she hadn't known what he'd been through, she should have stopped the race the instant she'd seen him swim the way he had.

For this to happen now... ]

I guess it...made an impression on me.

[The laugh he gives then is quiet and a little self-deprecating, but...honestly, a swimmer who's afraid of the ocean...

But he does see her drop her gaze, and that's more than a clear indicator of guilt, and even if he doesn't know what's going through her head, he has a pretty good idea.

So he smiles a little.]

It's alright. I'm okay now...and I think...I'll definitely be okay in the future too.

You definitely will be. [ and she says it quietly, but she does look at him. ]

But... um, if it's okay to ask... why did you join the swim club? I mean, it's okay not to force yourself, so...

[Ah, yes, that's the obvious question, isn't it? And he smiles a little at that, because he already knows his answer, and it's silly, but so simple.]

That's...because I wanted to swim with Haru and the others.

[For that...he'd happily face his fears. It's all a matter of priorities.]

...

[ and she's not really that surprised. Of course it would lead back to that. ]

You really are an amazing friend, you know? I hope they realize that.

[...ah. He doesn't really think that that makes him an amazing friend--maybe a selfish one, if anything, but...

...]

They are definitely all understanding in their own ways.

[Haru and his overprotectiveness, and Nagisa and "You finally smiled!" and Rei and his inquisitive need to make sure everything is okay...

...]

I'm really lucky myself.

[ she can only imagine what he's thinking-- he always did kind of smile away his own good points, but this was one he shared with Haruka. No matter what, she'd always put her friendships first. He'd done the same, even with his fear.

So Makoto sighs a little now, but pats his head when it's so easily within reach. ]

So am I.

[And he leans into her touch easily enough, before smiling more fully and laughing quietly. She's always been so understanding, but...]

I'm really glad that you're here, Makoto-chan.

Where else would I be right now? I'm just sorry I don't live closer.

[ ... yeah, she'd been worried. ]

[he's starting to realize, so his obvious response has to be--]

I'm sorry for worrying you.

[Makoto pls]

But I'm still really grateful that you came. I'm feeling much better now...

... And you're not just saying that to make me feel better?

Not at all.

[He smiles at her a bit more firmly.]

I feel better, so...thank you for listening.

Thank you for trusting me. [ and she says it immediately, flashing him a smile. ] Talking about fears really isn't easy.

Ah...it wasn't that I didn't trust you before...

[But yeah, she seems to understand that, at least, so he just slumps a little in relief and nods.]

...It does feel better now that I've gotten it off my chest, though.

I knew princely kisses would work!

[ ... Makoto, this and that are two completely different things. ]

[...but he just...laughs.

It's such an inane thing, but she seems so proud of it and he can't help it--it's funny, and he's cheerful enough now to be able to laugh.

And when he catches his breath--]

Well, you were definitely right about that.

[ and there she is, still sitting beside him and some weird mix of proud and relieved. ]

... I got to hear your laugh, too.

[Ah...

It's like Nagisa, again-- "You finally smiled, Mako-chan." It makes him smile fondly, as surprised as he is.]

Thank you, Makoto-chan.

[And--]

I suppose I shouldn't expect anything less from my own princess, hm?

[ don't blush, don't blush-- so she just clears her throat, doing her best to look like she's not embarrassed. ]

So I'm a princess again?

You've always been a princess.

[He just tilts his head with a firm smile.]

Just a princess with a wide range of skills, like princely kisses.

[ did someone say anything about not blushing, she actually has to release him completely just to put her face in her hands because of how hot she's turning. ]

H-hold on, I wasn't ready--

[oh no makoto-chan, stop being so adorable...

He just smiles at her, if a little concernedly.]

I hope that's okay?

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