[ There's a great warmth she can recall; even with burning eyes and the ache that settled into her very bones from a darkness that penetrated deep, her Cosmo pushed close to its limit with protecting the remaining Saints and fighting Hades to the point of finally sealing him within Elysion--
She feels warm. And, Sasha remembers, at the very end, she'd smiled with Tenma and Alone and that had been the very last...
And yet, she can feel. Whatever's beneath her is solid, warmed by the sun, an earthy smell when she takes a breath and slowly opens her eyes to a sparse few blades of grass. From the feel of the breeze on her arms, her Cloth is gone-- and as she finally pushes herself into a seated position to take proper stock of her surroundings, Sasha draws in a deeper breath.
Her Cosmo, as well-- ]
... I see. I'm...
[ Wherever she is, whether she's truly dead or not (but this doesn't feel like death), it all slams into her. Shion and Dohko, her last two Gold Saints, sent to safety with the others. Her ten lost Gold Saints, appearing before them to drive Hades back, protecting beyond death. Tenma... Alone...
The Earth had been saved, and she doesn't regret the life she's lived to save it. But Sasha had valued all of those lives, and now, something like a very thin sob emerges.
They'd all done so much and she hadn't even had the chance to thank them. ]
[ The last time that Sisyphus had seen anything with his eyes had been during that fight against Aiacos, a battle of ideals. He still remembers the look of that man's face with a startling clarity, and the first thought he has is to wonder what he must be doing, now-- being one of the few survivors of the war, and a Spectre, no less.
The second thought is to process the fact that he can see, and that he's alive. There's a heart beating in his chest. These are all things that should be impossible.
The third, only slightly less alarming thought he has, is that he can't reach his cosmos. He might be able to see, but now there's another entire sense that he can't access, and the world seems emptier, less colorful. He feels vulnerable. He knows that this isn't what death is like. He knows enough about the Underworld.
He doesn't rest on any one of these thoughts, however, until he's cycled through to the most important one-- Sasha. The name still feels like it's caught in his throat. He remembers thinking, don't cry. Is the war over? The sky is clear. There are only clouds above.
A muffled sob catches his attention, from not that far away. It takes him a moment, because his body is stiff and doesn't want to move correctly, but he goes. And she's there, curled up on the grass, and the relief is so strong that he thinks he might collapse again, right there. He steadies himself against a tree, instead. ]
[ Something akin to a shudder races through her, like the first step into a steaming bath after being battered about by a frigidly fierce storm. Her mind is still racing, trying to make sense of all that's happened and what's happening now, but as she lifts her head and peers at him...
Her thoughts abruptly still. Almost.
Logically, she knows there's a plethora of things she needs to address here. With his heart ripped out and his eyes unseeing, only whole as a spirit, he shouldn't be like this in front of her. And she ought to correct him that she's no longer Athena, if that's what this bereft feeling translates into-- and she knows, with some strange sort of finality, that that's the truth. And she should tell him she's fine, even if she ought to be dead, and she ought to ask him if he's fine, because he had suffered so much and kept fighting devotedly--
But the only thing she can possibly think to do at that moment is to raise herself up off the ground on legs that feel just a little wobbly, and she can't even hope to prevent her tears from overflowing as she stumbles on her first step but pushes forward nonetheless.
She would be the one he'd be concerned about first, but she needs to know for herself that he's here and whole, truly. ]
[ The whole situation feels surreal, like a dream. He's almost afraid to move too much, like the illusion might collapse at any moment, like he'll wake up in the Underworld, under the throes of some other dream god's machinations. But she stands and stumbles forward like a fawn on her feet, tears streaming down her face, and Sisyphus' reservations fly out the window like so much dust.
He moves forward to catch her by the shoulders before she can fall over in her haste. He hates to see her cry. He reaches up to cup the side of her face in one of his hands, brushing some of the tears away with his thumb. ]
... It's alright. [ He opts for this instead, flipping his previous words around in an attempt to soothe her. ] Please, don't cry. I'm fine.
[ He takes one of her hands and presses it over his chest, over his heart, to reassure her. ]
[ He hadn't been fine; she'd seen that much for herself, witnessed how his broken body and his fading consciousness had still drawn enough strength to help perform the Athena Exclamation. To be in front of him now, with one callused thumb brushing away her tears and his heart beating powerful reassurance beneath her palm...
He's alive.
Her free hand drifts up, fingers curling over the hand cradling her cheek-- to brace herself, perhaps, or for a second form of realization, or because she's trying to convey so much that won't simply come across in the few words she can manage through her tears. ]
You... endured so much pain... without a word of complaint, and there was so very little I could do, even though I wanted to protect you--
[ She'd wanted to protect all of them. The Holy War meant precious lives lost, she'd known, but all the same, she would have done anything to ensure that the Sanctuary could still welcome its soldiers back.
Sasha, at least, seems to be trying to curb her tears so he simply isn't stuck there wiping them. ]
[ He can't help a smile, even if it comes a bit wobbly. Of course she'd wanted to protect him, all of them. It had been their duty to see her to the end, but Sasha's heart is kind and strong. He has no doubt she'd have gladly traded her life for all of their own, but that wouldn't have won them a war. ]
But, you did more than enough. That was... my duty. And, I made a promise.
[ Duty or not, promise or not, it probably doesn't make a difference. He'll die for this girl any number of times. They can take anything. But... in that way, he can't protect her from this grief. Maybe asking her not to cry had been the wrong thing to say. ]
It's been difficult, hasn't it? You've been very strong. It's alright to let go.
[ She'd never liked the thought of it-- the fact of it, really. The Saints had always been willing to lay down their lives for what they believed in, and that cause tended to be (for the most part) to protect their goddess and the world they lived in. They had always been prepared to fight to the death, to live short lives (and she wonders if Dohko will forgive her, briefly) and when Sisyphus had swept into a kneel before her and sworn to protect her even beyond death...
She had dearly hoped it wouldn't come to that. But it had, and he had kept his promise, fulfilled his duty-- he had no further obligation to her. ]
You've been my support countless times, Sisyphus... but you have no duty to me anymore.
[ If she cries in earnest now, she isn't sure when she'll be able to stop. Before that happens... she wants to do this much for him, to gather up what strength she still has.
And so, even with watering eyes, she smiles. ]
I am no longer your goddess. Merely Sasha.
[ She's certain he's noticed by now, that the overwhelming and gentle cosmos she'd possessed was no longer there. ]
[ The words take him aback for a moment. It sounds like she's dismissing him. For a moment he wonders if it's because she's noticed his current state of powerlessness. Certainly she would. But, something seems off. Still, it's hard to work out the words to say when his chest feels suddenly so heavy. ]
... I suppose I wouldn't be much use, like this, even were I to return to the Sanctuary. Even with my eyesight back, I'm as good as blind. And... if that's your wish... I don't know that I can refuse it...
[ Ah, but he's watched over her for so long. Maybe he's the one that can't let go. ]
However...
[ He's not sure where he's going with this. It sounds weak, even to his own ears. ]
[ Sasha blinks rapidly, and so much for that smile she tried very hard to present to him-- because it's falling from her face as she shakes her head. ]
No, that isn't--
[ How could he possibly think she was denouncing him for being useless? That's the very last thing she wants him to think, so this time, she's very careful with her words, shaky as they are. ]
Sisyphus... please believe me, it isn't you. I just don't wish for you to feel bound to me through your sense of duty when my cosmos is gone. I no longer possess the power of a goddess.
[ It feels different than when Alone had sealed her cosmos before. That had been agonizing, rendering her pitifully exhausted at first. This... she's tired, but it's more of an understandable weariness, the sort one would have after a long battle. ]
[ It's more surprising than his own situation, and he's a bit frustrated with himself for not being able to feel it-- but, that can't be helped. He's not sure what it means, either-- what could have sealed it, and why. Maybe... It's possible that Sasha had done something subconsciously, for as fervently as she'd wished to return to a human life. But, he doesn't want to think about all these things right now, when they're both tired.
The war is over, after all. ]
... We're in the same situation. It's good fortune, then, that we're both here together. I could use your company. That is, if you have no other objections?
[ He still... wants to be with her? She's known Sisyphus long enough to additionally understand that he isn't the type to run off to tend to his own whims, so even without the relationship that had governed them as goddess and Saint, he likely felt as though he couldn't leave her alone.
But she's touched, nonetheless. Touched and tired and more emotional than she's let herself feel since she'd first stepped foot into Athena's chambers. ]
I have no objections at all. I'd like to remain with you, selfishly.
[ Sasha, there are still tears dripping down your face. ]
[ Selfish... she can only barely think of the beginnings of a desire, a thought she had shoved aside because to show any manner of weakness would have only discouraged her allies. And she doesn't think she can ask it of Sisyphus, either, not when he still seems so hesitant when it comes to--
Or so she thought, but he flawlessly proves her wrong when he suddenly tugs her against him. It's too gentle to make her stumble, but there's still a very small gasp of surprise that ends up muffled in his chest.
It additionally takes a few more seconds to assure herself that yes, this was something he did consciously-- and as Sasha exhales, she slumps a bit, bringing her arms up to wrap around him. ]
[ Sisyphus can feel her arms around him, this time, without the Cloth blocking the way between him. She's warm, and he can hear her muffling the sniffles in his shirt. That's fine, too. He patiently holds her until she decides to pull away on her own. ]
Well, I will try, even in this situation, but... we should figure out where we are, first.
[ He hopes they're not too far off from the nearest town, without cosmos to speed the travel. He does usually carry some money with him, and thankfully that still seems to be present, but it won't last them for very long. ]
And then, what we want to do from there... I wonder if anyone else is affected, or if it's only the two of us.
[ Only Sisyphus would be this patient about someone getting his shirt damp-- but Sasha can draw enough strength from this, no matter how brief (and she'll keep it brief, for his sake). As she carefully draws back, she turns her head to study their surroundings. ]
Shion and Dohko should still have their cosmos... but I don't know about the other Gold Saints. [ Of course not, she hadn't thought any of them would come back beyond that brief miracle. ] And Tenma, Alone, and I... we were together until--
[ Well. She woke up here. But from the softer way she says it, there's a fairly clear implication that she hadn't been expecting to wake up at all. ]
... Let's see if we can find some manner of civilization first. Can you walk without pain?
[ He's whole, yes, and breathing once more, but is he going to be able to make a trip? ]
[ He doesn't miss her implication, and it draws a painfully sad feeling from his chest. It should have been expected, from a battle like this, but he still feels regret. There's no point dwelling on it now, though, when the time has already passed, so he doesn't ask her to elaborate. ]
Shion and Dohko survived, then. [ He thinks that he knew that already... but the feeling is fuzzy and disjointed. It hurts his head, when he tries to recall. ]
I'm alright to walk. There's no real pain, just an... ache, I suppose. Do you think you'd like to return to the Sanctuary? Or...
[ He trails off, leaving it open for her. Once he seems sure that she's alright, he picks a direction and starts to walk. ]
[ Sasha falls into step beside him, taking stock of her own aches and pains. And truthfully, as he'd said, it isn't bad at all. It's an unsteadiness in her limbs, likely brought about by the exhaustion that feels as though it's weighing her down... but it's nothing she can't persist through until they're in a better place to rest.
There's the question she'd been waiting for him to ask, and even though she'd expected it, answering it... certainly isn't easy. She'd spent five years there, and it had become her home in a different way than the orphanage had been-- and of course, returning there wasn't an option. ]
With the way I am, and what I tasked Shion and Dohko with... I don't believe I'll be of any use to Sanctuary. Surely, if we were brought here... then there must be something I can do in a place apart from there.
[ She pauses then, glancing up at him. ]
Of course, should you wish to return, I completely understand.
I would be of no more use there than you. It's been my home for so long, though, that I admit it's a little strange to think of not going back.
[ And Sisyphus had really thought that his life there would be it, for him. He would live and die a warrior. In no scenario had he imagined that he would awaken, after the war, all of his cosmos gone. It's not something that he'd planned for. ]
But there are other things we can do, I'm certain... after we've gotten our bearings. I'll first have you banish this thought you have that I'd prefer to leave you behind to pursue something else, simply because you no longer have the power of a goddess.
[ It's far off, but he thinks he can see them nearing a road, and beyond that... He points. ]
[ Really, she thinks, both bemused and touched. Sisyphus had always been devoted to Athena, and while she'd known that he'd also acknowledged her as Sasha... this is perhaps the biggest sign of that recognition now, that he still wishes to remain with her. Especially when, as he'd said, the Sanctuary had been his home for much longer than it had been hers. Not returning to it is rather monumental for him.
She'll never not be grateful for that, and she reaches out to touch his hand briefly before she nods and sets her sights forward. ]
Then let's see if they'd be willing to offer us shelter, for the time being.
[ Considering that right now, they both need a very long rest. ]
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gracelets) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
pullmeoutalive2017-01-11 05:55 pm
JUST HUG ALREADY
She feels warm. And, Sasha remembers, at the very end, she'd smiled with Tenma and Alone and that had been the very last...
And yet, she can feel. Whatever's beneath her is solid, warmed by the sun, an earthy smell when she takes a breath and slowly opens her eyes to a sparse few blades of grass. From the feel of the breeze on her arms, her Cloth is gone-- and as she finally pushes herself into a seated position to take proper stock of her surroundings, Sasha draws in a deeper breath.
Her Cosmo, as well-- ]
... I see. I'm...
[ Wherever she is, whether she's truly dead or not (but this doesn't feel like death), it all slams into her. Shion and Dohko, her last two Gold Saints, sent to safety with the others. Her ten lost Gold Saints, appearing before them to drive Hades back, protecting beyond death. Tenma... Alone...
The Earth had been saved, and she doesn't regret the life she's lived to save it. But Sasha had valued all of those lives, and now, something like a very thin sob emerges.
They'd all done so much and she hadn't even had the chance to thank them. ]
no subject
The second thought is to process the fact that he can see, and that he's alive. There's a heart beating in his chest. These are all things that should be impossible.
The third, only slightly less alarming thought he has, is that he can't reach his cosmos. He might be able to see, but now there's another entire sense that he can't access, and the world seems emptier, less colorful. He feels vulnerable. He knows that this isn't what death is like. He knows enough about the Underworld.
He doesn't rest on any one of these thoughts, however, until he's cycled through to the most important one-- Sasha. The name still feels like it's caught in his throat. He remembers thinking, don't cry. Is the war over? The sky is clear. There are only clouds above.
A muffled sob catches his attention, from not that far away. It takes him a moment, because his body is stiff and doesn't want to move correctly, but he goes. And she's there, curled up on the grass, and the relief is so strong that he thinks he might collapse again, right there. He steadies himself against a tree, instead. ]
... Lady Athena. Are you alright?
no subject
Her thoughts abruptly still. Almost.
Logically, she knows there's a plethora of things she needs to address here. With his heart ripped out and his eyes unseeing, only whole as a spirit, he shouldn't be like this in front of her. And she ought to correct him that she's no longer Athena, if that's what this bereft feeling translates into-- and she knows, with some strange sort of finality, that that's the truth. And she should tell him she's fine, even if she ought to be dead, and she ought to ask him if he's fine, because he had suffered so much and kept fighting devotedly--
But the only thing she can possibly think to do at that moment is to raise herself up off the ground on legs that feel just a little wobbly, and she can't even hope to prevent her tears from overflowing as she stumbles on her first step but pushes forward nonetheless.
She would be the one he'd be concerned about first, but she needs to know for herself that he's here and whole, truly. ]
Sisyphus--!
no subject
He moves forward to catch her by the shoulders before she can fall over in her haste. He hates to see her cry. He reaches up to cup the side of her face in one of his hands, brushing some of the tears away with his thumb. ]
... It's alright. [ He opts for this instead, flipping his previous words around in an attempt to soothe her. ] Please, don't cry. I'm fine.
[ He takes one of her hands and presses it over his chest, over his heart, to reassure her. ]
no subject
He's alive.
Her free hand drifts up, fingers curling over the hand cradling her cheek-- to brace herself, perhaps, or for a second form of realization, or because she's trying to convey so much that won't simply come across in the few words she can manage through her tears. ]
You... endured so much pain... without a word of complaint, and there was so very little I could do, even though I wanted to protect you--
[ She'd wanted to protect all of them. The Holy War meant precious lives lost, she'd known, but all the same, she would have done anything to ensure that the Sanctuary could still welcome its soldiers back.
Sasha, at least, seems to be trying to curb her tears so he simply isn't stuck there wiping them. ]
no subject
[ He can't help a smile, even if it comes a bit wobbly. Of course she'd wanted to protect him, all of them. It had been their duty to see her to the end, but Sasha's heart is kind and strong. He has no doubt she'd have gladly traded her life for all of their own, but that wouldn't have won them a war. ]
But, you did more than enough. That was... my duty. And, I made a promise.
[ Duty or not, promise or not, it probably doesn't make a difference. He'll die for this girl any number of times. They can take anything. But... in that way, he can't protect her from this grief. Maybe asking her not to cry had been the wrong thing to say. ]
It's been difficult, hasn't it? You've been very strong. It's alright to let go.
no subject
She had dearly hoped it wouldn't come to that. But it had, and he had kept his promise, fulfilled his duty-- he had no further obligation to her. ]
You've been my support countless times, Sisyphus... but you have no duty to me anymore.
[ If she cries in earnest now, she isn't sure when she'll be able to stop. Before that happens... she wants to do this much for him, to gather up what strength she still has.
And so, even with watering eyes, she smiles. ]
I am no longer your goddess. Merely Sasha.
[ She's certain he's noticed by now, that the overwhelming and gentle cosmos she'd possessed was no longer there. ]
presenting: a misunderstanding
... I suppose I wouldn't be much use, like this, even were I to return to the Sanctuary. Even with my eyesight back, I'm as good as blind. And... if that's your wish... I don't know that I can refuse it...
[ Ah, but he's watched over her for so long. Maybe he's the one that can't let go. ]
However...
[ He's not sure where he's going with this. It sounds weak, even to his own ears. ]
SISYPHUS NO
No, that isn't--
[ How could he possibly think she was denouncing him for being useless? That's the very last thing she wants him to think, so this time, she's very careful with her words, shaky as they are. ]
Sisyphus... please believe me, it isn't you. I just don't wish for you to feel bound to me through your sense of duty when my cosmos is gone. I no longer possess the power of a goddess.
[ It feels different than when Alone had sealed her cosmos before. That had been agonizing, rendering her pitifully exhausted at first. This... she's tired, but it's more of an understandable weariness, the sort one would have after a long battle. ]
no subject
Your cosmos is gone...?
[ It's more surprising than his own situation, and he's a bit frustrated with himself for not being able to feel it-- but, that can't be helped. He's not sure what it means, either-- what could have sealed it, and why. Maybe... It's possible that Sasha had done something subconsciously, for as fervently as she'd wished to return to a human life. But, he doesn't want to think about all these things right now, when they're both tired.
The war is over, after all. ]
... We're in the same situation. It's good fortune, then, that we're both here together. I could use your company. That is, if you have no other objections?
no subject
But she's touched, nonetheless. Touched and tired and more emotional than she's let herself feel since she'd first stepped foot into Athena's chambers. ]
I have no objections at all. I'd like to remain with you, selfishly.
[ Sasha, there are still tears dripping down your face. ]
he did it!!
I think you've held back enough. You're allowed to make some selfish requests, now... I promise that I will hear them all.
[ He gently tugs her forward, into his chest. A whim, maybe-- but, at one time, he'd been the one in need of comfort, and she hadn't abandoned him. ]
After everything you've done for me, it's the least I can do.
I'm so proud of him!!
Or so she thought, but he flawlessly proves her wrong when he suddenly tugs her against him. It's too gentle to make her stumble, but there's still a very small gasp of surprise that ends up muffled in his chest.
It additionally takes a few more seconds to assure herself that yes, this was something he did consciously-- and as Sasha exhales, she slumps a bit, bringing her arms up to wrap around him. ]
You've always supported me... without fail.
no subject
Well, I will try, even in this situation, but... we should figure out where we are, first.
[ He hopes they're not too far off from the nearest town, without cosmos to speed the travel. He does usually carry some money with him, and thankfully that still seems to be present, but it won't last them for very long. ]
And then, what we want to do from there... I wonder if anyone else is affected, or if it's only the two of us.
no subject
Shion and Dohko should still have their cosmos... but I don't know about the other Gold Saints. [ Of course not, she hadn't thought any of them would come back beyond that brief miracle. ] And Tenma, Alone, and I... we were together until--
[ Well. She woke up here. But from the softer way she says it, there's a fairly clear implication that she hadn't been expecting to wake up at all. ]
... Let's see if we can find some manner of civilization first. Can you walk without pain?
[ He's whole, yes, and breathing once more, but is he going to be able to make a trip? ]
no subject
Shion and Dohko survived, then. [ He thinks that he knew that already... but the feeling is fuzzy and disjointed. It hurts his head, when he tries to recall. ]
I'm alright to walk. There's no real pain, just an... ache, I suppose. Do you think you'd like to return to the Sanctuary? Or...
[ He trails off, leaving it open for her. Once he seems sure that she's alright, he picks a direction and starts to walk. ]
no subject
There's the question she'd been waiting for him to ask, and even though she'd expected it, answering it... certainly isn't easy. She'd spent five years there, and it had become her home in a different way than the orphanage had been-- and of course, returning there wasn't an option. ]
With the way I am, and what I tasked Shion and Dohko with... I don't believe I'll be of any use to Sanctuary. Surely, if we were brought here... then there must be something I can do in a place apart from there.
[ She pauses then, glancing up at him. ]
Of course, should you wish to return, I completely understand.
no subject
[ And Sisyphus had really thought that his life there would be it, for him. He would live and die a warrior. In no scenario had he imagined that he would awaken, after the war, all of his cosmos gone. It's not something that he'd planned for. ]
But there are other things we can do, I'm certain... after we've gotten our bearings. I'll first have you banish this thought you have that I'd prefer to leave you behind to pursue something else, simply because you no longer have the power of a goddess.
[ It's far off, but he thinks he can see them nearing a road, and beyond that... He points. ]
Look. I think there's a town over that hill.
no subject
She'll never not be grateful for that, and she reaches out to touch his hand briefly before she nods and sets her sights forward. ]
Then let's see if they'd be willing to offer us shelter, for the time being.
[ Considering that right now, they both need a very long rest. ]