Yes, another one of these

[andallthatme]

[ This might be a training center. And this might be a lieutenant running a few drills. It's been far too long since he did any sort of training, anyway.

Right now the Cybertronian version of a punching bag is occupying his attention. ]

Comments

[andallthatme]

Did we- are we--

[ bonded? ]

[show_my_cannons]

...

[Don't say that word, don't say that word, they can't be, it's too dangerous--]

... I... don't know.

[andallthatme]

... I didn't say that word. Not out loud.

[ He's so sorry. So, so sorry. ]

[show_my_cannons]

...

[He can't say anything. He just covers his face, like he can shut it out.]

[Don't be sorry--enough of blame--they both had to want this, on some level--now what do they do?]

[andallthatme]

... I don't know.

[ He's part terrified, part worried, part... happy ]

[show_my_cannons]

[He's just scared. Flat out, no-other-word-for-it-scared... that it's going to hurt the other 'Bot, that he's done something wrong, he'll break this too, if they lose one another...]

...

Me either.

[andallthatme]

Ironhide, stop. We're not going to lose one another.

[ And he means it. He refuses to let that happen- he'd long since promised himself that he would never, ever lose you again. ]

[show_my_cannons]

... You cannot promise me that.

[He'd never intended to die. He doubted Jazz had either, back in Mission City. Or Prime in the forest. And now, more than ever, he can't lose you.]

[andallthatme]

I can and I will.

[ He has to. He's scared too- and Ironhide's thoughts on the matter aren't helping- but for his own sake he has to tell himself they'll be all right. ]

[show_my_cannons]

[This... is so bizarre. He can't even begin to describe it. He can feel the other's unease, because of his own... But he can't stop thinking it, hard as he tries.

His vocals only emit a brief burst of static, before he reaches up, to pull Jazz's forehead against his own, just holding him there.]

[andallthatme]

[ He just... clings. He can't think of anything else to do.

This could not have been a mistake. The timing, yes, but not the act. He loves you, and wanting to be together like this- please don't say it was a mistake. ]

[show_my_cannons]

[He can't think of anything either, despite how hard his processor is racing.

That... hurts. On some level. Partially because he knows it's his fault it even came up. If he hadn't reacted like this...]

Just... just need time. Sink in. Adjust.

[That's all. He swears it. Bad timing - that's all.]

[andallthatme]

[ It's not your fault. How else were you supposed to react? ]

... As long as it takes, Ironhide.

[ He wants nothing more than for them to be okay. ]

[show_my_cannons]

[He holds him a little tighter, keeping them close. It took him so long to simply get to this--this contact. He can't lose it. He won't.]

... Be fine.

[He swears it. He will make this okay.]

[andallthatme]

[ They. They will make this okay. Because they is all there is now. ]

[show_my_cannons]

... Going to take time to get used to that.

[andallthatme]

Yeah. It is.

[show_my_cannons]

Jazz...

[He's trying to say it. That thing that's so difficult for him to say. He loves you. He needs you.]

[andallthatme]

[ You don't have to- he knows, and there's nothing but gratitude and affection pouring over from his side of the bond. ]

[show_my_cannons]

[He feels like he should try. Despite the fact that his end is showing much of the same.]

[andallthatme]

[ He'll say it first, then. For all those times he wanted to, but couldn't. ]

I love you.

[show_my_cannons]

[He wants to say it. He really does. It's there... he just... can't make the words come out.

So he nods, trying to make the meaning come across.]

[andallthatme]

[ It's okay. He knows. Now more than ever, he knows. ]

[show_my_cannons]

[... he's also sorry he can't say it. You deserve to hear it.]

[andallthatme]

[ He does hear it. Every time you think it. Every time you feel it. ]