[wherever this mystery Kia character may be, whatever they are doing this fine holiday season, they are totally walking underneath some mistletoe somewhere. and when they do, there is suddenly a very loud gasp]

Hark! Do my eyes deceive me? Has yet another poor, innocent soul fallen victim to the holiday's most phenomenally fiendish feint???

[soooo anyway, there's a girl dressed in pink and purple and a skirt of books standing nearby. hi]

Alas! They stand underneath the doorframe as the small sprig of shrubbery hangs above their head, like a countdown to their untimely doom! Will someone come join them underneath the mistletoe's gentle embrace? Or are they doomed to loneliness, to standing their awkwardly while their beloved never comes to rescue them from the clutches of holiday traditions!!

[. . . nice first impressions, tho. right?]