[ He supposes they should have seen it coming. Cramped on a small ship as they were, contact of some kind was inevitable, and, ironically, in trying not to think about one another or the connection they were forced to share, they ended up thinking about it more. And the universe found ways to tug them together, ever since they gave that bit of ground at the banquet.
Alec nearly left when he realized the truth of the events of that night- that he had acted because Peter was in danger, that the strange warm and content feeling was because Peter was near- but he had convinced himself that if they kept their distance there was no way it could get worse.
It wasn't a very convincing lie, but he stuck it out for a little bit anyway.
Oddly, he kept drifting back to that night after the banquet, not because that was where the whole mess started, but because that was the first time he and Peter actually managed to get along. He found himself thinking that is was a shame, this whole soulmate thing hanging over their heads, glinting and sharp like a blade. If not for that, they could have probably been friends.
And some small part of him said, If friends, then why not lovers? Why not more? In the end, that little voice was enough to scare him into vanishing.
He took the info, he felt like shit screwing the Guardians over like that because they had done nothing to deserve it, but he needed it. He needed to see this job through to the end. As soon as the Milano docked, Alec was gone, hitching a ride back to the little station where they had left his ship and getting as far away as he could.
At first, things were fine, and Alec allowed himself a moment of smug satisfaction. His dad had been fine, his mother... presumably had been fine, and if that band of color on his old man's finger really did tie them together, then it obviously hadn't meant much at all. People just like to romanticize things.
Then the restlessness started creeping in. Keeping him up at night while he tossed and turned in his bunk, fidgeted over his consoles and robbed him of his ability to truly concentrate. It came and went like the tide, and each time seemed worse than the last. It crawled under his skin, prickling, gnawing, insistent, until it had eaten away a gaping hole in his chest, leaving him hollow and sick. On his truly bad days, he honestly felt like half a person, little more than a husk, and he wished to God he could make it go away. He tried slamming his barriers down, shutting it out the same way he had shut Quill out, but this hollow thing that had taken refuge in him was not so easily turned away.
More than once he entertained the thought of seeking out the Guardians, of tracking down Peter just so make it stop, please make it stop, but the prospect of being inexorably tied to someone whether he wants to be or not was too big, too scary, and he told himself he'll be fine. He just has to get used to it. The longer they're apart, the more their bond will weaken and soon things will be back to normal.
(Somehow, he knows that they won't.)
Alec continued working towards Grun, but his moods, his health, and that ever-present loneliness made him sloppy. He didn't cover his tracks as well as he would have normally, and one day someone found him. There were two of them, hulking men, one red and one green, like Christmas, and they approached him in the middle of some seedy bar on a dingy station. They said they work for a rival of Grun's. They said they know Alec has information on him. They made him an offer- work for their boss, ruin Grun and his empire. But Alec doesn't work for assholes just to screw other assholes over, and he told them to fuck right off.
They took him away after that. Even with all his tricks, the gaping hole in him left him off his game, and he woke up in a dark room with Gumby and Pokey looking very ready to cause him some hurt if he didn't tell them what he knew. He didn't, and they did.
His Enhancements helped him weather the first few days, and his captors were shocked when the Terran didn't crumple like aluminum foil under their beatings, so they stepped up their game. Stupid, to play that card so soon Alec realized, but by then it was too late. They nearly killed him on the day his magical stamina gave out and his Enhancements crumbled, but they manged to reel themselves in when they realized that something had changed and their victim was not as sturdy as he had been.
They eased off after that. Had to take a break because Alec was in a bad way.
He doesn't really remember how long ago that was. Consciousness comes and goes, though they had bandaged him up, set his bones and put him on the course to recovery just enough so that he might still be useful to him. Underneath the pain and the haze, that wrongness still remains, still gnaws at him every chance it gets, because life wasn't unfair enough already.
Maybe he's finally lost it, because he swears it's suddenly not as bad as it used to be. It eases by degrees, and it's only when he hears the commotion outside the little medbay-slash-prison cell where they have him held that he has the vague hope that maybe it's Peter out there.
And isn't that weird? That he hopes to see the guy again, where before they wanted nothing to do with one another. He could explore that feeling, but he's too tired and in too much pain to really bother. ]
that's okay i did the same thing
Alec nearly left when he realized the truth of the events of that night- that he had acted because Peter was in danger, that the strange warm and content feeling was because Peter was near- but he had convinced himself that if they kept their distance there was no way it could get worse.
It wasn't a very convincing lie, but he stuck it out for a little bit anyway.
Oddly, he kept drifting back to that night after the banquet, not because that was where the whole mess started, but because that was the first time he and Peter actually managed to get along. He found himself thinking that is was a shame, this whole soulmate thing hanging over their heads, glinting and sharp like a blade. If not for that, they could have probably been friends.
And some small part of him said, If friends, then why not lovers? Why not more? In the end, that little voice was enough to scare him into vanishing.
He took the info, he felt like shit screwing the Guardians over like that because they had done nothing to deserve it, but he needed it. He needed to see this job through to the end. As soon as the Milano docked, Alec was gone, hitching a ride back to the little station where they had left his ship and getting as far away as he could.
At first, things were fine, and Alec allowed himself a moment of smug satisfaction. His dad had been fine, his mother... presumably had been fine, and if that band of color on his old man's finger really did tie them together, then it obviously hadn't meant much at all. People just like to romanticize things.
Then the restlessness started creeping in. Keeping him up at night while he tossed and turned in his bunk, fidgeted over his consoles and robbed him of his ability to truly concentrate. It came and went like the tide, and each time seemed worse than the last. It crawled under his skin, prickling, gnawing, insistent, until it had eaten away a gaping hole in his chest, leaving him hollow and sick. On his truly bad days, he honestly felt like half a person, little more than a husk, and he wished to God he could make it go away. He tried slamming his barriers down, shutting it out the same way he had shut Quill out, but this hollow thing that had taken refuge in him was not so easily turned away.
More than once he entertained the thought of seeking out the Guardians, of tracking down Peter just so make it stop, please make it stop, but the prospect of being inexorably tied to someone whether he wants to be or not was too big, too scary, and he told himself he'll be fine. He just has to get used to it. The longer they're apart, the more their bond will weaken and soon things will be back to normal.
(Somehow, he knows that they won't.)
Alec continued working towards Grun, but his moods, his health, and that ever-present loneliness made him sloppy. He didn't cover his tracks as well as he would have normally, and one day someone found him. There were two of them, hulking men, one red and one green, like Christmas, and they approached him in the middle of some seedy bar on a dingy station. They said they work for a rival of Grun's. They said they know Alec has information on him. They made him an offer- work for their boss, ruin Grun and his empire. But Alec doesn't work for assholes just to screw other assholes over, and he told them to fuck right off.
They took him away after that. Even with all his tricks, the gaping hole in him left him off his game, and he woke up in a dark room with Gumby and Pokey looking very ready to cause him some hurt if he didn't tell them what he knew. He didn't, and they did.
His Enhancements helped him weather the first few days, and his captors were shocked when the Terran didn't crumple like aluminum foil under their beatings, so they stepped up their game. Stupid, to play that card so soon Alec realized, but by then it was too late. They nearly killed him on the day his magical stamina gave out and his Enhancements crumbled, but they manged to reel themselves in when they realized that something had changed and their victim was not as sturdy as he had been.
They eased off after that. Had to take a break because Alec was in a bad way.
He doesn't really remember how long ago that was. Consciousness comes and goes, though they had bandaged him up, set his bones and put him on the course to recovery just enough so that he might still be useful to him. Underneath the pain and the haze, that wrongness still remains, still gnaws at him every chance it gets, because life wasn't unfair enough already.
Maybe he's finally lost it, because he swears it's suddenly not as bad as it used to be. It eases by degrees, and it's only when he hears the commotion outside the little medbay-slash-prison cell where they have him held that he has the vague hope that maybe it's Peter out there.
And isn't that weird? That he hopes to see the guy again, where before they wanted nothing to do with one another. He could explore that feeling, but he's too tired and in too much pain to really bother. ]