[He doesn't resist when she pulls his head down to rest on her shoulder; instead he swallows hard, breathing still uneven, as he tries to get control of himself and not break down completely on her.
It takes him a few moments before he can speak past the tightness in his throat, though.]
I-if Haru hadn't been there, I would have drowned. [it's the first time he's said it, and the first time he's thought it too--he knew, in a way, but it was too much to think about.
But now he knows for sure...he would have drowned out there. Just like the men on that boat, years and years ago. He would not have been able to swim to safety, and he would have drowned.]
I...would have drowned...
[And the realization is enough to tip him over the edge. He'd wanted to cry then, he really had, but Haru and Nagisa and Rei had all been there watching him and expecting things of him, and he hadn't been able to lose it there. Not there on the shore after he'd nearly died, and not in the abandoned shack either.
Perhaps it's fitting that it's here, in the sunshine, that the tears finally fall.]
no subject
It takes him a few moments before he can speak past the tightness in his throat, though.]
I-if Haru hadn't been there, I would have drowned. [it's the first time he's said it, and the first time he's thought it too--he knew, in a way, but it was too much to think about.
But now he knows for sure...he would have drowned out there. Just like the men on that boat, years and years ago. He would not have been able to swim to safety, and he would have drowned.]
I...would have drowned...
[And the realization is enough to tip him over the edge. He'd wanted to cry then, he really had, but Haru and Nagisa and Rei had all been there watching him and expecting things of him, and he hadn't been able to lose it there. Not there on the shore after he'd nearly died, and not in the abandoned shack either.
Perhaps it's fitting that it's here, in the sunshine, that the tears finally fall.]